umicandy | 【 2017/07/23 】

Today marks the first year of my graduation from 9nine.
Since then, a lot of different things have happened.
I feel like my horizon has widened.
ZIP!, being a seiyuu, stage plays, hosting events instead of performing in them...
You can say that an idol should be able to do all of those things, too.
But if I'm unhappy about doing something, can I really give it my 100%?

Sometimes, even though you really love something, you have to let it go if it's started to make you unhappy.

That's how I felt. Honestly.

I still can't say that life is perfect now; I've encountered many harsh words during the past year.

"She's too dull to be a morning MC,"
"Why did she get this role? It doesn't suit her."
"You say you're doing your best, but if that's your best then you're hopeless."
"Why can't she put more feelings into her work?"

Before, I always had 9nine to cheer me up. Even though we had misunderstandings, at the end of everything, they were what I had. Now, it's just me, so it's harsher than it ever was. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm deteriorating.

I've cried a lot, and had to put up a strong front many days. I acted like those things didn't affect me, because I know they shouldn't. Everyone who works in this industry, I'm sure they understand. It happens to everyone.

Then, most recently, my beloved pet Vanilla has gone to her journey to heaven.
It was sad, and it was especially painful. She was always with me, too, since I started this career.

Thank you, Vanilla.

Mh...

To everyone who's supported me, and gone out of their ways to shower me with care, especially during the times I was down, thank you. ♡
I feel like I don't say it enough, but I'm really grateful to my friends.
It seemed like I needed a lot of cheering up lately, right? (笑)
Please come to me if you need someone, too!

I'll be here. I promise.

Then, I'll end it here.

＊Umika＊